![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Ok, i promise to make this post a little more happy. I am normally not just a depressed person; these justh appen to be strange times. So I will try to come up with some funny things to say:
-These two kids stopped me in the hall the other day- One said, "Miss Holly, Tell Maurice to quit his damn cussing!"
A couple points to ponder-
If #2 pencils are so popular why are they still #2
Do cannibals not eat clowns because they taste funny?
Some internetbumperstickers
-My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch
-Normal people scare me
-I didn't do it, you can't prove it, the sheep are lying.
-Relish today, ketchup tomorrow
-Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
oh, let's see what else I can come up with-
My favorite funny movie moment- in Fantasia 2000- during the pomp and circumstance sequence, they show the 2 rabbits hopping onto the ack, then at the end, they show the rabbits hopping off with a whole bunch of baby rabbits in tow. LOL
This one time, at band camp- my band director was trying to get us to just lean back and wail this one part of a song, so he said "Spread your legs and have fun." Which would have been funny enough,but to make it funnier my friend had not 2 seconds before said "screw the band" under his breath. I fell over laughing.
Anybody remember the episode of Drew Carey when his high school band drector dies, and he goes to her funeral- THE FUNNIEST half hour of television ever.
Funniest movie- Office Space cracks me up simply because it is so true- who wouldn't want to smash the fax machine to smithereens?
Rowan Atkinson Live - No One Called Jones
This is so funny, I almost peed myself when I first heard it. It gets funnier when tipsy or full on plastered. I have almost the whole thing memorized.
Come on, settle down please. Answer your names. Anus. Arsebandit. Bottom. Clitoris. Where are you, Clitoris? Dodo. Enema. Fistup. Come on, grow up please. Genital. I'm sorry, Genital. Herpes. Still with us Isee. Imadick. Imadick! Enema, you know Imadick don't you? Jaculation. Myprick. Has anybody seen Myprick? Come on! Somebody must have seen Myprick! Very well. Remind me to beat Myprick a bit later. Nicenquick. Ontop. Pube. Ahhh, Myprick! So nice of you to turn up. Yes. Well now that you are here Myprick, perhaps you'd like to find a seat. Bottom, squeeze Myprick in there somewhere will you? Rigid. Our Russian exchange student, Suckmeof. Tightfit. Upyoursh. Vulva. Yourprick. And Zipper. Zipper? Absent.
Now boys, the headmaster has asked me to speak to you this morning on the subject of smut. All members of staff have noticed an alarming increase of the use of silly humour and purile inuendo about the school. Rigid, Fistup, Bottom, Out! There have been some disgusting doodlings on the walls of the lavatories. Sit up straight Ontop. One or two unpleasant health magazines have been found. If you fall asleep Ontop, I shall be VERY annoyed. And Mr Hardon tells me that there has been a great deal of sniggerin in his biology class. Tightfit, for heaven's sake, leave Yourprick alone! I don't care, Yourprick had no business poking into your desk in the first place. I will not put up with this kind of behaviour boys, and neither, must I warn you will Mr. Gripbighardcock. This is a school for the sons of gentlemen, and the theory is that someday you will become a gentleman too. That is with the exception of Genital, who appears tobe turning into a ferrett. So there will be an end to this second form toilet humour where so much conversation is devoted to smutty double entendre. Dodo Suckmeof Nicenquick, detention Saturday. Right, I'm going to the staff room now, and when I come back, if I catch Herpes in the corridor like the headmaster did yesterday, then there'll be trouble!
*note- Rowan Atkinson is one of the funniest comedians anyway- you should definitely watch "Rowan Atkinson Live"
Funny Song lyrics of the day
Moulin Rouge
soundtrack lyrics
Amiel - Meet Me in the Red Room [Original Film Version]
I'll meet you in the red room
close the door and dim the lights.
I will be yours truly id indeed the price is right. So know your soul and be my king, let your passions rise and sing, just
show me the diamonds and i'll let you wear my ring, so just lay down beside me let us consumate. i know your plastic let me
help you deflate. if you want to plug in for a high voltage connection, show me cold hard cash, and i will turn on my
affection.
so dont hesitate i won't kiss, and tell, no need to worry cause i'm, i'm a professional, the show can start as soon
as i see money on the table, i have an empty space to fill i'm ready if your able. do you wanna go?
I'll meet you in the red room close the door and dim the lights. I will be yours juliet and be the price is right. So know
your soul and be my king, let your fashions rise and sing, just show me the diamonds and i'll let you wear my ring
Ok, I told you I can be funny if I try. Well, kinda anyway.
-These two kids stopped me in the hall the other day- One said, "Miss Holly, Tell Maurice to quit his damn cussing!"
A couple points to ponder-
If #2 pencils are so popular why are they still #2
Do cannibals not eat clowns because they taste funny?
Some internetbumperstickers
-My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch
-Normal people scare me
-I didn't do it, you can't prove it, the sheep are lying.
-Relish today, ketchup tomorrow
-Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
oh, let's see what else I can come up with-
My favorite funny movie moment- in Fantasia 2000- during the pomp and circumstance sequence, they show the 2 rabbits hopping onto the ack, then at the end, they show the rabbits hopping off with a whole bunch of baby rabbits in tow. LOL
This one time, at band camp- my band director was trying to get us to just lean back and wail this one part of a song, so he said "Spread your legs and have fun." Which would have been funny enough,but to make it funnier my friend had not 2 seconds before said "screw the band" under his breath. I fell over laughing.
Anybody remember the episode of Drew Carey when his high school band drector dies, and he goes to her funeral- THE FUNNIEST half hour of television ever.
Funniest movie- Office Space cracks me up simply because it is so true- who wouldn't want to smash the fax machine to smithereens?
Rowan Atkinson Live - No One Called Jones
This is so funny, I almost peed myself when I first heard it. It gets funnier when tipsy or full on plastered. I have almost the whole thing memorized.
Come on, settle down please. Answer your names. Anus. Arsebandit. Bottom. Clitoris. Where are you, Clitoris? Dodo. Enema. Fistup. Come on, grow up please. Genital. I'm sorry, Genital. Herpes. Still with us Isee. Imadick. Imadick! Enema, you know Imadick don't you? Jaculation. Myprick. Has anybody seen Myprick? Come on! Somebody must have seen Myprick! Very well. Remind me to beat Myprick a bit later. Nicenquick. Ontop. Pube. Ahhh, Myprick! So nice of you to turn up. Yes. Well now that you are here Myprick, perhaps you'd like to find a seat. Bottom, squeeze Myprick in there somewhere will you? Rigid. Our Russian exchange student, Suckmeof. Tightfit. Upyoursh. Vulva. Yourprick. And Zipper. Zipper? Absent.
Now boys, the headmaster has asked me to speak to you this morning on the subject of smut. All members of staff have noticed an alarming increase of the use of silly humour and purile inuendo about the school. Rigid, Fistup, Bottom, Out! There have been some disgusting doodlings on the walls of the lavatories. Sit up straight Ontop. One or two unpleasant health magazines have been found. If you fall asleep Ontop, I shall be VERY annoyed. And Mr Hardon tells me that there has been a great deal of sniggerin in his biology class. Tightfit, for heaven's sake, leave Yourprick alone! I don't care, Yourprick had no business poking into your desk in the first place. I will not put up with this kind of behaviour boys, and neither, must I warn you will Mr. Gripbighardcock. This is a school for the sons of gentlemen, and the theory is that someday you will become a gentleman too. That is with the exception of Genital, who appears tobe turning into a ferrett. So there will be an end to this second form toilet humour where so much conversation is devoted to smutty double entendre. Dodo Suckmeof Nicenquick, detention Saturday. Right, I'm going to the staff room now, and when I come back, if I catch Herpes in the corridor like the headmaster did yesterday, then there'll be trouble!
*note- Rowan Atkinson is one of the funniest comedians anyway- you should definitely watch "Rowan Atkinson Live"
Funny Song lyrics of the day
Moulin Rouge
soundtrack lyrics
Amiel - Meet Me in the Red Room [Original Film Version]
I'll meet you in the red room
close the door and dim the lights.
I will be yours truly id indeed the price is right. So know your soul and be my king, let your passions rise and sing, just
show me the diamonds and i'll let you wear my ring, so just lay down beside me let us consumate. i know your plastic let me
help you deflate. if you want to plug in for a high voltage connection, show me cold hard cash, and i will turn on my
affection.
so dont hesitate i won't kiss, and tell, no need to worry cause i'm, i'm a professional, the show can start as soon
as i see money on the table, i have an empty space to fill i'm ready if your able. do you wanna go?
I'll meet you in the red room close the door and dim the lights. I will be yours juliet and be the price is right. So know
your soul and be my king, let your fashions rise and sing, just show me the diamonds and i'll let you wear my ring
Ok, I told you I can be funny if I try. Well, kinda anyway.
