last night...

had fun last night. went to dinner with the jasons, wnet to the mall and to wal-mart. i bought the soundtrack to "13 going on 30". i haven't seen the movie, i just thought the soundtrack is good. went back to the jasons and played phase 10. Jason ended up winning. we drank yummy peppermint patties. That's milk, chocolate syrup, peppermint schnapps (we used ice 101), and sometimes you can put in kaluha. i had 2- the first one was good, a little weak though. relaxed me. the 2nd was much stronger. found out after i drank it that jason had put in vodka too- bitch. he knows what vodka does to me. hehe. i slept at their place. (no drinking and driving for me.) they have to have everything out of their old place today so they wanted a moving truck. they aren't sure if they can get one or not, so jason's dad was coming to help. i may help too, if they need my car. i came home about noon.

there is some stuff i need to think on some, and then post. i have a hard time motivating myself the day after drinking. it's why i don't do it more often.

hmmmmmm,

well, i was never called so i guess they got everything done they needed to.

i missed almost all of the finale of survivor. grrrrrr. i forgot it was on. crappy. oh, well.

something came up this weekend that i would like to expound upon.

Being Gay

I have thought alot over the past 10 months about myself. I guess in a way i wasn't 100% positive that i was right about myself until the stuff that happened with jennifer, but in other ways i have known all my life. from the uncomfortable feeling at slumber parties, to the reading of anne frank, from the cravings for a ford ranger to my flannel fashion, from my obsession with xena, and to my obsession paul (as in from the bible)- i have always felt different. for most of my life, even though i didn't know why i felt different, i knew i needed to hide my difference, to crush it, and eventually it would go away. college helped open that locked box, but living here in columbus has blown the box to bits. my experience with jennifer showed me once and for all i shouldn't have to hide what is so right for me.
because i have felt so reigned in for most of my life, i feel a special draw to supporting openly gay activities. i go to CGMC concerts not only because i enjoy good music, but because it exists- in my world previous to this i couldn't have fathomed it. i want to go to pride this year because in those settings i feel a part of a group that can truly understand all that i am. i am seriously considering joining the cap pride band because i can use my passion to support the ideal that there are all kinds of gays and lesbians. i do all these things because i believe that we shouldn't condemn people for who they are- because 11 months ago, had i tried to do any of these things, i would have been fired, and probably kicked out of my parents' home. i do these things so that 20 years from now maybe, just maybe an overweight bookworm growing up in southern WV won't spend years of her life wondering what's wrong with her, and will instead enjoy herself for everything that she is.