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back to the grind
Mar. 11th, 2003 10:12 pmWell, its back to doing what i get paid to do.... teach.
McCoy told me not to be so negative all the time, so I am going to try.
It's not as if my job is always terrible. I have good days, for the most part the band listens, they try, its just not what I want it to be. i want band for these kids to be the wonderful, life changing event it was for me, and it's not going to be.
i think no matter how old you are, walking back into your old high school brings backsome of the old feelings. luckily for me, i have good memories. all the teachers were glad to see me, and wanted to know how things were going. McCoy sent me to run an errand, and I said "you just want rid of me." he replied "you know I'd never want rid of you. I would have kept you here forever if I could, but you had to grow up on me." I almost started crying because i would have stayed in high school forever if i could have. I loved it. I was happy all the way through high school. I had close friends that cared about me, i got to do all the things i loved to do. And I loved band. I was the first one there, and the last to leave. I did everything from helping in the concession stand to lining the field to directing the band to painting the band room. My last day of high school, I bawled. I stayed in the band room all day, and it was a little after 3 and McCoy told me and another girl to get out, we were graduated, and to not come back(he was joking). I was crying so hard I couldn't see anything. later on underclassmen told some of us how mopey and hateful he was that week we weren't there. That he would call for us, and mutter something about "she had to go and graduate."(we were one of his favorite "classes") But until he said what he did today i was never sure. (just for some clarification- i am crying as i write this. i know it sounds strange, but that school, that band, and that man were the only things that mattered to me for 4 years)
Tonight was one of those nights that reminded me why I wanted to become a band director. tonight i want to stay in mount hope and fix it. make it into a band to be proud of. build the program back up. tomorrow i will go back to mount hope, and hopefully hold on to that feeling for a little bit.
The guest conductor was a grad of OHHS, and his band director is now the choir director. He told Mr. Pinnick what an influence he had had on his life. i think that would be the ultimate honor- to get to conduct that all-county honor band- for me, anyway. talk about coming full circle.
well, i need sleep. gnight.
McCoy told me not to be so negative all the time, so I am going to try.
It's not as if my job is always terrible. I have good days, for the most part the band listens, they try, its just not what I want it to be. i want band for these kids to be the wonderful, life changing event it was for me, and it's not going to be.
i think no matter how old you are, walking back into your old high school brings backsome of the old feelings. luckily for me, i have good memories. all the teachers were glad to see me, and wanted to know how things were going. McCoy sent me to run an errand, and I said "you just want rid of me." he replied "you know I'd never want rid of you. I would have kept you here forever if I could, but you had to grow up on me." I almost started crying because i would have stayed in high school forever if i could have. I loved it. I was happy all the way through high school. I had close friends that cared about me, i got to do all the things i loved to do. And I loved band. I was the first one there, and the last to leave. I did everything from helping in the concession stand to lining the field to directing the band to painting the band room. My last day of high school, I bawled. I stayed in the band room all day, and it was a little after 3 and McCoy told me and another girl to get out, we were graduated, and to not come back(he was joking). I was crying so hard I couldn't see anything. later on underclassmen told some of us how mopey and hateful he was that week we weren't there. That he would call for us, and mutter something about "she had to go and graduate."(we were one of his favorite "classes") But until he said what he did today i was never sure. (just for some clarification- i am crying as i write this. i know it sounds strange, but that school, that band, and that man were the only things that mattered to me for 4 years)
Tonight was one of those nights that reminded me why I wanted to become a band director. tonight i want to stay in mount hope and fix it. make it into a band to be proud of. build the program back up. tomorrow i will go back to mount hope, and hopefully hold on to that feeling for a little bit.
The guest conductor was a grad of OHHS, and his band director is now the choir director. He told Mr. Pinnick what an influence he had had on his life. i think that would be the ultimate honor- to get to conduct that all-county honor band- for me, anyway. talk about coming full circle.
well, i need sleep. gnight.
