(no subject)

Well,

I had planned on going to the animal shelter today, but I decided againist it. This makes me incredibly, unbearably sad. I just can't ignore the fact that I'm barely feeding myself, much less another creature. And I can't ignore his health needs like I can my own. I've been crying off and on about it this afternoon. I know it's the right decision financially. *sigh*
I would have gone if one of the big three had given me permission (read been excited about me going, thinking it was a good idea), but both daves and jason seemed leery about it. This also make me sad. I feel like they don't trust me with a pet. This isn't the case, i'm sure, but it's how I've been perceiving it. Unfortuantely, Kristy's advice came too late. (but thanks for listening, kristy- i really appreciate it)
I still just want one to show up on my doorstep. That would be good. I really want that chihuahua I emailed about, but 175 is worse than 117, and of course he wouldn't have been neutered. He was so cute with the black and tan markings.
I tried to go out for lunch, but places were crowded, and I didn't know what I wanted. I finally ended up at Giant Eagle and bought some vegetarian sushi. It was actually very good. I feel hypocrondiacal, but I wonder if I might be sensitive to wheat- I'm going to try and steer clear of it for a bit and see if that helps my sinuses. I've just been really stuffy lately.
I really wanted to be playing with doggies right now.
I must get the finances under control. I need to find ways to cut back, I guess. I should cancel the cable. I don't really use the TV that much, but what I watch is on cable mostly. OF course without the food network maybe I'll lose weight.
Speaking of- I ate so much yesterday- I ate out all three meals. That is not cool. The bad part was I wasn't stuffed. I ate Aladdin's vegetarian sampler which a month ago was enough for 2 meals, and last night (after Chipotle for lunch) I polished it off. *sigh*

Anyway, I guess I should find something to do. I'm debating shopping, I just don't feel justified spending money on anything. I've thought about making dinner later, but I don't know what. I really want a whole chocolate cake or something. I'm determined to be a goodyear blimp I guess. I can't seem to not gorge myself at every opportunity.

I suppose I'm just very disappointed in myself.

Dinner

SO I went to the store with the intention of buying whatever I wanted for dinner. I ended up making eggplant, mushroom, green onion, and fake chicken stir fry with a mongolian beef sauce and vegetable potstickers. I ate way too much, but I am refraining from eating the chocolate cake I bought.

I did not drink tonight. I wanted to, but I decided not to. IF I had, I would have gotten fall out of my chair drunk, and that's probably not a good idea.